a era of my life behind me |
| Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:27:57 GMT |
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once upon a time i had horrid credit. had a defaulted credit card almost right into college, and out of college, defaulted on both my student loans. for the past 9 years i've been working on digging myself out of that hole. i now own a house, have two cars in my name, and upon looking at the last of my outstanding student loans from college, have $43.43 left to pay, scheduled for payment on 10/28. I'd pay it early if I could figure out how to on sallie mae's stupid site, but i can't.
so i will be warm and fuzzy knowing that none of my outstanding balances are consolidations, and that my credit woes are hopefully behind me. ironic, considering the current situation. but good. wee.
now off for some pei wei. i'm heavily addicted, after initially hating it. yum.
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i used to dream |
| Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:14:25 GMT |
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rainy days are either very good or very bad for my psyche. today seems to be an exception. i feel very introspective, but in neither a good or a bad way. i also feel, and have all week, like i'm coming out of this fog that i only barely realized was around me, and am like whoa where am i? :)
slowly life is regaining some semblance of normal. and by normal, i mean what normal is with an infant and the life i have, and love.
derby this weekend, watching not doing. can't wait for that. i may also get a family picture taken (loong overdue) and get my tragus pierced (also long overdue). but we'll see how it plays out.
man, i feel like i have so much more to say, but there's a finger in the dam holding it back. i promise to cut my post when the dam breaks ;P
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margarita |
| Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:57:34 GMT |
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i had one. and it was tasty. :) the mom's group i'm in did a night out - it was good to have a chance to go eat out without el bebe, even if i missed him the whole time :P he's onto solid foods (and by that i mean avacado for the past two nights) and doing wonderfully with it - he even slept through the night last night for the first time:
Pics:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/turnerhq/sets/72157607456780736/detail/
Videos:
http://www.vimeo.com/1799632
http://www.vimeo.com/1799636
work is going great - it's fantastic to have a new challenge, even if it's exhausting. i'm trying to wrangle my weight back into submission - i'm still pretty static at where i was at when i came back to work,and i'd like to see the numbers start going back to pre-pregnancy weight. :P
derby is still there, just not active in my life. i'm going back, it's just the when that is up in the air.
i've got a lot to spew out that's more than just these random update posts - i need to be better about all that. but that can come later. meeting time.
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man i am all over the place today |
| Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:58:18 GMT |
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today is a mostly good day. i'm wearing my favorite pants, i remembered my hello kitty slippers for under my desk (especially important since i'm wearing heels today) and my ipod is on and playing abba, currently. my new job is pretty awesome, even if it's very busy at the moment, and i don't feel like i have a moment to breathe. that's not a bad thing. i'm glad to be doing something different, even if at times it's really odd to be in such a different place in so short a time. but then again, i think that's the story of my year!
i need to figure out how to become independently wealthy so that i can spend my days with my boys instead of being at work. i can see him right now on the daycare webcam and the teacher is hugging him - i am so glad they care so well for him, but it makes me cry that they can hug him right now, and i can't.
anyways, no more mopey. i'm blessed to have the life i do, despite everything. my son is on the road to being a healthy, normal little kid, and that is amazing and surreal to me - and all at the same time, my biggest wish come true.
happy thursday.
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the end of the tunnel - the first one, anyway |
| Sat, 13 Sep 2008 12:08:20 GMT |
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when alex was born, we were told of our road ahead. at the time, it felt like an eternity. three surgeries, the possibility of urinary tract infections (which he got in spades) and at the end, a whole new journey. but that one was too far away to think about.
it's hard to believe that our months of waiting, worrying and hoping have now past us, replaced by new waiting, worrying and hoping. this type is of the more normal type - will he cry at daycare? will he get a cold? will he eat the dogs? (a very real fear i assure you, he's already tried) it's refreshing, and this morning as i packed away all his medical supplies that he does not need anymore, i just was struck with how far we've come in such a short time.
100 years ago my son would have died, days after birth. maybe even 50 years ago. today, he sits in his swing taking a nap (where he should not nap, but that is another story for another day :P) loved more than i ever thought i could love something, someone, anything. this experience has changed me in ways i still can't realize, and have no comprehension of. others i'm aware of every day. i will never again take for granted the experiences life has to offer - or at least i will try not to.
anyways. enough of the emotional morning misty. time to continue on my grand journey of labeling everything that i'm bringing to day care monday morning. i never new my trusty sharpie would come in even more handy :)
recent pictures as well, for those interested -- http://www.flickr.com/photos/electricsoup/tags/alex/
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Tweets for Today |
| Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:11:03 GMT |
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sunday evening |
| Mon, 08 Sep 2008 00:30:46 GMT |
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alex is in his exersaucer. man does he love that thing. he's so quick to grow, rolling over and sitting up on his own. he's living life and his mom is not doing all that well in that department. i would say i am surviving.
i need to get over this mental hump that is standing in the way of so many things. i've stopped going to derby, at least for right now. it's just too much with the new job (i still have to get to that), alex's surgery, all the stuff surrounding just raising a new child, family issues, etc etc. it pours when it rains, in casa de turner.
i'm happy despite it all. he just needs to smile and i melt. and my husband too - he's my rock, and i adore him.
tomorrow is alex's third surgery - i won't say his last, because if this part of life has taught me anything at all, it's never to say never. but hopefully it will be, and he will recover quick and well, and we will all continue on to the next phase in all our lives - babyhood without the threat of surgery looming over at all times.
i read livejournal whenever i can - it helps me feel connected. i'm just doing a poor job of communicating downstream. i need to fix that, but it's somewhere midway on my things to do list. plurking is easier - quicker more like it. i have no plans to replace one with the other though - a text limit is just not me :P
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Writer's Block: Your Favorite Series: One Last Go Round |
| Sun, 24 Aug 2008 03:17:21 GMT |
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Firefly. No question. I originally was so sick of hearing about it that I had no desire to watch it. But man am I glad I did. One of my favorite shows ever.
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and we're back! |
| Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:55:00 GMT |
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after thoroughly charming every nurse and doctor at the hospital, numerous walks and iv sticks, olympics watching, tears, laughters and milestones - we're home. it was not a terrible experience as things go, even if we all could have wished that he was never sick with the greatest of ease.
he's sitting up now - even on his own, although we have to place him there of course. and he's started reaching for me. it's about the most heart warming thing i've ever experienced. man that kid rules.
i'm doing well - changing jobs at work due to a lot of crazy stuff that i may or may not get into. it's a great move, so i'm quite pleased. on vacation this and next week, it was already planned - just worked out well time wise.
i really find that i have a lot to say, blog wise, but that i rarely get to the keyboard in time to pour it out of my mind before it leaves. my attention span is so much shorter than it was before alex came, which is saying something and is almost scary. but i'm going to find a way to get it all out. i've too much brewing that needs to spew out.
lots going on with derby - i'm loving it even if my progress is slow. i notice a huge improvement, even though it may not be evident to those watching. i have a LOT to work on though - goals are good, and i'm really enjoying the getting better aspect of it all.
that's good for now. i am frazzled and too random for anything but quick plurks. this must change!
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one week + done |
| Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:49:48 GMT |
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and one more to go. we may even be there longer than the 14 days, but things look good. i'll try to update more - i want to for my own sake, but i keep thinking i 'don't have time' so i just plurk something really quick.
anyways, i've got pictures:
http://flickr.com/photos/tags/alexhospital808/
he's dangerously charming to nurses. and he's more engaging every day. it's awesome even if its not where i'd choose to spend time with him if i could choose. but i'll take him where i get him. :)
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i'm going to have to start at current and work back |
| Sat, 09 Aug 2008 02:49:26 GMT |
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because i'm so behind. i think the biggest news is that we've been readmitted to the hospital, and unfortunately not for his third surgery as was the plan (it was supposed to be on the 12th). on saturday he spiked a fever after our company picnic, and it never really came back down. back to the er we went, and they diagnosed another uti. this was troublesome, due to the fact that what we thought was the issue giving them to him was supposed to be surgically repaired in june. well, since he was older now they gave him a shot, gave us a prescription and sent him on his way.
fast forward to thursday when we've got my mother in law in town to finally get to visit with him outside of the hospital, and they call us back. the urine culture from sunday grew a really nasty bug, the same he had before that really can only be treated by IV. so back to the hospital we went. we're in ffx right now, but we're most likely transferring to loudoun in the am due to a mix up in the reason why we were sent all the way out here.
it's certainly trying, but he's such a trooper that it's hard not to follow in his footsteps.
pictures of his stay are and will continue to be posted here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/electricsoup/tags/alexhospital808/
as you can see he's in good spirits, thankfully. it's just the latest in a long string of weekly fun, including a huge shake up at work where i not only no longer report to the same people (including my former boss of 9+ years) but i'm in a whole new department. what a week.
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Tweets for Today |
| Sun, 03 Aug 2008 04:22:07 GMT |
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Tweets for Today |
| Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:20:13 GMT |
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Tweets for Today |
| Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:19:40 GMT |
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a few notes on tonight's practice |
| Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:51:13 GMT |
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a lot of girls were at an event downtown, or not at friday practice so there were only about 12 of us. it was totally as awesome as the other practices for different reasons. i got a lot of great feedback, kicked my ass completely, and GOT TO SCRIMMAGE! as funny as it sounds, for all this practicing i'd never skated in a jam before. it was fun, confusing, and exausting. i played every position except pivot, got my first penalties (minors only) and i even earned lead jammer! now, i didn't score any points due to my exhaustion keeping me from catching the pack, but still!!
i busted my ass on a few good falls too. we did a lot of drills for stuff i had been anxious about - things like wheel locking (exactly what it sounds like, skating in a pack and locking skates on purpose with the others around you) and some fun blocking. i almost broke my glasses, which makes me get serious about needing a new pair of glasses or contacts, and i had an ass-kickingly awesome time.
was i the slowest? yea. was i better than last week? yea. :) i can't wait to get even better!
i'm trying to work out 5 days a week, counting practices as working out (man are they). it's ambitious, and i haven't met the goal each week, but i've done pretty well over the last three. weeeee.
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Tweets for Today |
| Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:15:00 GMT |
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i'm not sure how i feel about this |
| Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:44:52 GMT |
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Tweets for Today |
| Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:12:50 GMT |
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hai! majide! |
| Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:59:22 GMT |
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methinks the end of this got deeper than i had anticipated |
| Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:51:20 GMT |
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two things i wanted to discuss that formulated in my head on my commute in today.
starbucks. i admit it, i am a starbucks whore. i have no idea when, or how it happened. but i am. i rarely sway from my usual drink other than the size - a venti skim no water chai. god, what happened to me. but i adore my morning drink, it's a part of my ritual. i feel off if i don't have one. other tea doesn't seem to do it for me. i know it's expensive, and and and. but i have yet to find a substitute, and to be honest, i'm not really looking. i need an icon. or a 12 step. or both.
anyways. i have this reusable cup that actually looks like a starbucks cup, but it's a grande. i usually drink more than that. but they don't have one that's bigger, and i don't want to have to buy a new one. so this is my dilemma today, or was this morning. to go green(er) with my already consumer whore experience, or throw it all to the wind and get the venti that i really wanted.
guess what won out? if you guessed i had a dirty reusable cup, you guessed correctly. hey, at least i saved a nickel on top of the cheaper grande cost. :P
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life choices. something else i easily admit - my life choices are sometimes very atypical, even if most of the people i'm around either share the same choices, or don't really care. specifically, i'm talking mostly about derby, tattoos, piercings, my costuming stuff, etc. i've even had someone give me crap about being a knitter before, as if being too crafty was a crime. a lot of time the people who give me crap are those at work that don't know me very well, or some people i'll meet in some other sort of group setting.
i'm a rather sensitive person in the heart of it all, even though i don't try to be, and a lot of times people will say things without really thinking. i get the following about all of the above on quite a regular basis these days:
-why would you DO that?
-what are you THINKING?
-what will your son think when he grows up?
-i can't wait until you regret that/hurt yourself.
i just don't understand. i try not to judge, but it happens - i'm not foolish enough to think i do not also cast stones. but i guess i don't understand sometimes the absolute failure to see things from another perspective. and it's not the people who are genuinely asking questions that i mind. it's the ones with a hidden agenda, the one that says, NORMAL PEOPLE DO NOT DO THOSE THINGS behind what they say. the ones that seem to hope for me to fail because then i will come to my senses, and do something more normal with my time
i do the things i do because i, clearly, find enjoyment in them. and isn't that what we all look for? things that make us happy, that make us more of who we are, and of who we want to be? i have decided i am, more and more, unapologetic about who i am. regardless of what others think. no one has to get on board with me (although i respect my husband enough to discuss major changes to body and activities prior to beginning, of course), and no one has to like the things i do. but i respectfully retain the right to challenge your viewpoint, to not have to explain myself, or to be offended based on how you choose to question who i am.
alex will love me because i am his mother. i hope to teach him that everyone is different, and that differences are to be embraced - not ridiculed, not something to use as a weapon to cut others down. he will know that you can have tattoos and piercings, and still be a stand up, respectable member of society. that girls can also participate in full contact sports and if they break a bone? they heal. just like the boys do. and i can only hope i am strong enough to continue teaching him these things as regularly and consistently as i can muster.
chances are, however, if you're reading this, you are not one of the above.
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driving observations |
| Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:35:10 GMT |
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now, for as much as i love to drive, i don't do it very often. or at least i didn't until after my leave. since chris and i work together, we commute in almost every day. it generally works out pretty well - i knit, he drives. he likes to drive. i like to knit. plus, with a toll road between us and work (at least if we want to get in sometime before 10) it saves us some cash.
well, once the boy goes to daycare (weeping, weeping) in september we'll be most likely going in separately on a more permanent basis. this is both good and bad from my pov (i'm sure husband has his own views :P):
good: it's always nice to have some sing out loud time in the morning and afternoons when you need it
bad: i can't knit anymore in the car, which these days is almost the only time i do
good: having two cars at work will make it much easier to pick up the boy from day care when something comes up for one of us
bad: gas
good: we (read: chris) don't have to wait around for the other when one is ready to go and the other is not
bad: less time to spend with chris
overall, it's not a bad thing. i'll be taking the longer way to work and leaving early, but getting home earlier too. and on days i have derby, chris will probably pick him up. we'll see, we're still working it out.
that all being said, driving lately has been interesting. i got a late start this morning due to alex waking up late, me getting in the shower late, starbucks being a cf, and traffic. it's the traffic i want to talk about. i have a lead foot - this i am unapologetic for. i am safe though, and generally courteous to others - i try not to be that asshole who totally tailgates the joe citizens who decide that even though they are in the fast lane that legally fast is 55/65 and force me to adhere (at least until i can safely get around them).
what REALLY grinds my gears, to borrow the expression from that great sage peter griffin, is two specific things:
1) when i've got cruise control on, and some jackass with a wildly inconsistent speed comes RIGHT UP ON MY ASS and i move over, and then about 2 minutes later i come up on him because he's slowed down now, and he won't move because he earned his right to be in front of me, or some stupid shit like that. WRONG.
2) when people are in the fast lane on their cell phones (which is like, oh, everyone) and they're clearly not focusing on driving. going over the line, again with the inconsistent speed, and they never move over. this type of person almost always, when i go to pass them on the right (yes yes i know), SPEEDS UP when they see me try to pass, like "OH WAIT I WANTED TO BE GOING FASTER THAN YOU" and i reminded them. only to have them slow right the hell down after my apparent threat to their man/womanhood in the form of passing them has subsided.
it alternately amuses me and frustrates me. this morning it's the latter, but mostly because of some other frustrations. if i have a moment, i want to get into those later. it always helps me to work things out in text rather than in the jumbled pile of mess i call my brain.
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friday friday |
| Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:02:34 GMT |
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going to practice tonight at the dsp - i like that some of them are not in bfe (although, to be honest, it's me that's in bfe, not the practices :P).
other than that, thing are well. the house is a disaster, or at least it is for my standards. i need a few days of nothing going on (hahahahahahahaha) to get it in order. i'd like to have people over, but no way in the current state.
i've got lots of new pictures and info on alex up on our family blog, at www.turnerhq.com. i stopped really discussing him here (and there too when i went back to work, ha) but he's doing awesome. he's still got some challenges, but who doesn't? it will just make him more tough. i need to update there today. maybe later.
other than this, i don't have much to say. at least right now.
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despite |
| Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:18:39 GMT |
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despite being exhausted
despite still working on getting in shape
despite it being a year since using some of the skills i had to use
despite my self doubt and my fear
i did it.
i've waited a year to pass this test. :) and the best part is that the real challenge has only started. man these girls work hard, and i'm proud to be given a chance to work along side them.
next step: get better. :)
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derby Derby DERBY! |
| Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:50:25 GMT |
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sunday i went to derby practice - i've been skating on my own, but this was the first sunday i managed to not be sick or on vacation for. i was afraid for nothing - it was hard, that was true. but what's worth doing that's not hard in some way? it was an awesome day, and ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mizunakat even came too (and did a fantastically awesome job).
tonight is the safety assessment - the league has three levels from the joining perspective:
-minor meat (where i am now): you skate at sunday practice, no fees, work on things on your own time that you learn on sunday's.
to graduate from this, you take what's called the safety assessment. this involves basic skills, and generally proving you won't totally bail off the skate and hurt someone during a larger style practice.
-fresh meat: small dues to cover practice space, can practice indoor with the league.
to graduate from this, you need to take the wftda test, and be deemed ready to take it as well i'm sure
-league member!
i'm nervous about tonight, but at the same time give myself about a 50/50 chance of passing. i know i can do almost everything on the list (jumping and grapevines i'm still sort of not that great at) but i would have loved at least another week to practice. if i don't pass, so be it - it'll show me what to work on for next time. i've waited a year to be able to do this - win or lose, i'm just excited to be doing it, especially since i know that if i don't pass this time, next time i will for certain.
the only thing i'm really worried about is that i've developed dequervain's tenosynovitis - which is basically wrist tendonitis specifically at the base of my thumb, on my right wrist, and is often seen in new mothers - it hurts almost all the time like a bitch. i'm worried about doing my falls on that hand, but i'll just load up on motrin before going. all i can do! can you wish people luck in sports? i know i don't want a broken leg, so don't wish that! ha!
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at&t store, 6am friday |
| Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:46:18 GMT |
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so from my twitters, i already talked about the fact that i got an iphone - it was a lot of fun getting it though, at least most of the day.
we had made a plan to go to an at&t store rather than an apple store - it's one thing to get up early, but another to wait. we were not of the waiting all night mindset, so we chose a different place. we got up at 5, i got ready for work and we went. alex was up right around then, so we didn't even wake him up or anything. i don't know that i would have gone that far :P
we got there right around 6, and met a lot of nice people in line. the wait was actually quite pleasant, and alex was a really great kid (per usual :P). we got our phones at around 10:30, but thanks to various snafus it was about 11ish that chris got to go home (i left before that to to work finally) and wrestle with getting the phones activated and our numbers ported for the rest of the afternoon.
both phones work like a charm, even though mine seems to be quicker to drain the batteries than his. who knows what i turned on that he didn't though, i'm trying to figure that out. overall? i loooove it. i cannot express it. looove. at least as much as one can love a cell phone ;P
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Currently Reading/Listening
Sewing Projects on Deck
Hoth Leia
Bespin Leia
ANH Leia - White
ANH Leia - Ceremonial
Padme - Chancellor's Meeting Dress
Vampy French Court
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Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Then We Came to the End
The Almost Moon
Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Flyleaf
Incubus - Light Grenades